9 reasons to queue up for the squat toilet

 

 

 

 

 

Warning this post contains graphic detail: if you don’t like that sort of thing don’t read it.

Travelling the world including Europe, Morocco, Turkiye, India and the Middle East has given me much experience of using squat-style toilets,  ‘Arab’ or ‘Asian’ toilets, hole-in-the-ground toilets, or ‘French’ toilets, as we used to call them in the ‘80s when France was exotic and foreign. Such toilets are often the bane of British people’s holiday, ‘oh Gah, those toilets,’ but I am now one of those people who queue up for the squat toilet. Here’s why I’ve converted:

1.Squatting is a much more natural position to defecate – it comes out easier

2.Some even say that western-style toilets are to blame for bowel cancer because sitting doesn’t allow you to expel fully and properly. I don’t know if it’s true but I’ll reproduce that 

3.Squatting regularly is good for almost every muscle in your body 

4.When you’ve got your period, ladies, you are actively expelling the waste more effectively as you are squeezing it out. Which has got to be better right?

5. It’s much more effective (forget hygienic) to wash your private parts with water after you have urinated or defecated than wipe them, and you don’t need an extra contraption called a bide 

6.When the weather is hot you get the opportunity to wash regularly down there (not to mention very helpful at ladies’ period time)

7. It’s more environmentally friendly to NOT use toilet paper. Although – to be fair – a lot of Turkish toilets also have toilet paper to dry your private parts, which, I must admit, I am all for. Soggy knickers is the only drawback.

8.You have a much more regular intimate relationship with your private parts than when you sit on a toilet, as when you squat and clean you are literally looking right at them. You can spot any changes or abnormalities more easily which, as you get older, you should be doing

9.It’s more hygienic in public toilets because the only thing that touches the toilet is your feet. 

But how do you actually use them? ‘I hate getting my feet all wet!’ I hear you cry. 

After much practice, trial and error, I can advise you. Of course I can only talk from a woman’s point of view, but I do supervise my son, so I can advise men also. 

  • Turn around (yes, like when you sit on the seated toilet) and place your feet on the feet plates with toes about level with the front, so your bum will be roughly over the hole when you squat.
  • If you’re wearing a skirt, pull it up and gather it around your waist and hold it there, and pull your knickers down to your knees, not ankles
  • If wearing trousers pull them UP AT THE ANKLES and take them (and knickers) down at the same time so they gather around your knees and no parts drape on the floor.
  • Squat as low as you can (I.e. a full squat, called malasana in yoga.)
  • Have your feet flat on the floor 
  • Don’t tip toe or try to hold a high squat 
  • If you can’t fully squat ask yourself why and practice 
  • Do your business 
  • Fill the jug with water 
  • Peer through your legs to look at your private parts 
  • Hold your left hand between your legs (via the front not the back) and over the toilet bowl. With your right hand carry the jug and also reach through your feet and pour water over your left hand so it is wetted making a cup shape with the hand so it holds some water while simultaneously wiping your private parts with your left hand. 
  • Pour gently so you don’t splash. 
  • Women (men skip to the next point) wipe front to back or sort of diagonally to the side so you don’t touch your bum hole 
  • When you’re happy your front bits are clean (half a jug to a full jug is a good guide) do the same with your back parts
  • Dry with tissue (women, front then back)
  • Or just shake 
  • Pull clothes up 
  • Turn around 
  • Flush toilet with flush or with jug of water 
  • Clean toilet if necessary
  • Leave cubicle 
  • Wash hands with soap in sink (not with jug and tap in cubicle) 
  • Done. 

Some toilets have a hose pipe instead of a jug but I would advise against aiming it at your private parts and squirting, if you want to avoid getting soaked. Use the method above, wetting your left hand with the hose instead of the jug.

In Turkiye some European style toilets have a built-in ‘bum wash.’ A jet of water shoots out of the back of the toilet aimed at your bum hole. These are a compromise. You need to use them in a similar fashion, using your hand as a cup to catch the water and wipe, as they rarely point in exactly the right place and if they do, often that alone is not enough to clean you.

Hey presto. 

Squat toilets all the way for me now. I’ll see you in that queue. Which one are you choosing? 

Er, while writing this post I stumbled upon this. A whole blog dedicated to using the toilet while travelling. 

https://gogoguano.wordpress.com/

unschooling and the pandemic

Written 9 June 2020.

When my friend told me she was worried that her daughter would “get behind if she did not go back to school soon”, this got me thinking. While these are very real concerns for parents, who know how fiercely competitive the job market is getting, I started to think what does ‘behind’ mean? Perhaps now, in the midst of the Pandemic, is the time to reassess what education is actually for, and doing. Education should not be about content, that if we miss it, we will get ‘behind’, but should be about exploration, development and growth. These are very personal things, that should not solely be tied to a national curriculum and a keeping up with the peer group, and are not solely experienced within the four walls of the school building. 

learning to tie knots with dad

Since the beginning of Lockdown, when kindergarten closed, now reaching 9 weeks for us, I have witnessed my nearly five year old son grow exponentially, and we have not even opened a text book. We have been juggling full-time home working, temper tantrums, no outdoor space, the draw of screens, parental arguments, Ramadan fasting, elderly parents’ struck down with the virus, and all this involves learning and growth. My son has learned, and is still, learning so much.

 

balcony water play marble run

He has grown taller, he is has cycled through, and emerged from, various stages of early years development, including the stealing ‘treasures’ from the kitchen stage; playing with knives stage; experiments with blackmail and manipulation stage. Left completely to his own devices, we have discovered he loves: taking apart electronics; music, dance and percussion.  He – as I am sure heightened for many of us in the Pandemic Lockdowns  – has been struggling with addictions: ‘just one more biscuit’; ‘I’ve got to watch the next programme then I’ll do my chores’; ‘I’ve just got to scroll ten more, then I’ll go to sleep’*. 

pandemic telly addict

In todays age, GCSEs should be measuring how clearly you can see beauty even when it is not pretty every day; if you can be faithful and trustworthy; if you can disappoint another to be true to yourself; if you can live with failure; how well you can sit with pain in the empty moments when all else falls away.**

The best thing you can do is nurture children’s spirit and desire to learn, to want to explore, to find out. The rest will follow. Many more parents are ‘unschooling’ now, which is a deliberately provocative term, but nevertheless useful one. At the centre of this, is allowing children to learn in a self-directed manner. That is giving them freedom to explore, and to support what they want to learn about. 

pandemic NHS appreciation rainbow drawn by 4 year old

For more inspiration on critical and alternative approaches to education visit these two projects.

One of which is very resonant with me:

Disco Learning by Lucy Aitken Read is an unschooling course giving parents the courage to unschool.

The other of which I am a founder and governor:

Arbol Madre Holistic School is a Waldorf-inspired school aiming to educate mind, body and soul.

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*Thats me, not my 5 year old. My 5 year old is not scrolling before bed. It’s not that bad. Yet.

**Credits to The Invitation, a poem by Oriah Mountain Dreamer.